Review: The Mean Greens

So here we are with another FPS game to hit Steam. The Mean Greens will throw you for a loop, though, if you think it will just be another grey/brown/green romp through a shiny explosion-fest. The Mean Greens goes at the genre through a different set of windows. It decides to bust through the fun windows. You know the ones that haven’t really been broken recently. Everyone is all up on the hyper-realistic shooters and while a lot of them are pretty stinking cool, they all kind of merge together in my brain at least. In The Mean Greens you play as green or tan army men straight out of your childhood… if you were raised with them instead of an iPad. I know some of you may only be familiar with them thanks to Toy Story… and I’m mostly ok with that.

Fußball is so good in this game! I once scored all three goals, but mostly I get blown up.

Fußball is so good in this game! I once scored all three goals, but mostly I get blown up.

I’m going to go with what I didn’t like first since that’s a shorter list and everyone always likes to know what they are getting into before they jump into the pool. The shooting is the only thing that troubles me here. For the most part, my friends and I have noticed a bit of a discrepancy between our aim and some of the other players. I’m fairly sure everyone at this point is on the up and up so that leaves me with a few options. Either other people have just acclimated to the spread of the guns better than some or using a controller has some added benefits over the mouse and keyboard option. Some people can just wreck with the regular machine gun while I tend to struggle with it and the shotgun (although most of my kills are with the machine gun). I’m pretty good with the rocket launcher, but that’s like being proud to win with a gun at a knife fight. I may figure it out eventually, but something does feel off about the controls.

Teamwork, it's what it's all about. Just to see what happens at the end because it takes a long time to solo thaw a dinosaur in case you were wondering.

Teamwork, it’s what it’s all about. Just to see what happens at the end because it takes a long time to solo thaw a dinosaur in case you were wondering.

On the bright side, with good teamwork, shooting isn’t everything. The Mean Greens is set up as more of an objective based game. I tend to only stick with maps that are not free-for-all based. Luckily that leaves me with… every other map in the pool other than Art Table Shuffle. What that means is you’re left with:

  1. playing capture the flag in a fish aquarium
  2. attacking and defending plates of cookies on a toy train driving around a Christmas tree
  3. playing fußball on a barn themed fußball table
  4. trying to unfreeze your dinosaur in a freezer before the other team can free theirs
  5. even more, but I don’t like doing lists like this, go play the game

This game has given so many different takes on similar themes that it just makes my heart happy. Even with dying at times, I’ve found myself having a laugh at the hilarity of the situation my team of toy soldiers have found themselves in. Some of that is in part to learning how the levels are composed and where everything is. Most of it is due to the crazy atmosphere and great music. Ever wanted to assault or defend a birthday cake? Well, The Mean Greens gives you that chance!

I used to love FFA as a kid. Now adays, it just feels plain. In The Mean Greens with so much different stuff going on it the other levels, this is kind of a waste of a map if you ask me.

I used to love FFA as a kid. Now adays, it just feels plain. In The Mean Greens, with so many different things going on in the other levels, this feels like a waste of a map even though many people I’ve played with seem to love it.

I guess I can throw out one last thing. There has been a lot of complaining about servers and being kicked and all that jazz. Yes, I do get kicked automatically from servers at times. Yes, that does suck. Does it happen a lot? No, not really once you find a server. Finding a server would be another complaint if you want to use the “find server” option. They said they’ve patched it, but as of yesterday, it will usually put me into a server all by myself instead of one with room. Yes, that’s unfortunate, but I can just as easily go to the server list and order it by ping and click into a server and Bob’s your uncle. It’s not ideal, but it’s not a deal breaker. Let’s stop being spoiled here. If that’s your only complaint, I’d say be thankful.

I will reiterate what I said in my tweet in that I believe that The Mean Greens is the "best variation on gameplay in the FPS genre in the long time including Splatoon." That is not to say that it is without it's faults and when they hit you, you notice them. However, it is super nice to see a developer go and create a game in a familiar genre and not simply rehash what is already available in so many different variations already. There are a lot of shooters out there that will run a bit of money and there are a lot of free ones as well that don't suck. At the end of the day, a lot of them are simply the same game with a different color of paint. So much is different in The Mean Greens and any one who even likes to dabble in the FPS genre would be a fool to not try The Mean Greens out.

I will reiterate what I said in my tweet in that I believe that The Mean Greens is the “best variation on gameplay in the FPS genre in the long time including Splatoon.” That is not to say that it is without its faults and when they hit you, you notice them. However, it is super nice to see a developer go and create a game in a familiar genre and not simply rehash what is already available in so many different forms already. There are a lot of shooters out there that will run you a bit of money and there are a lot of free ones as well that don’t suck. At the end of the day, a lot of them are simply the same game with a different color of paint. So much is different in The Mean Greens and anyone who even likes to dabble in the FPS genre would be a fool to not try The Mean Greens out. It’s simply way to fun to avoid.

More The Mean Greens info: Facebook / Official Page / Steam / Twitter

Jonathan Amarelo Sig

Zip-lining in to the counter top to knock off the enemy's cup to kill reinforcements. The idea guy/gal behind this stuff needs a raise!

Zip-lining onto the counter top to knock off the enemy’s cup to kill reinforcements. The idea guy/gal behind this stuff needs a raise!

Riding a rubber ducky has never been so stressfull.

Riding a rubber ducky has never been so stressful.

This is a great looking game. It really is.

This is a great looking game. It really is.

Defend the cookies you take from the other team and then take over their end of the train be it the engine or caboose.

Defend the cookies you take from the other team and then take over their end of the train be it the engine or caboose.


Love it or hate it, let me know!